20 Reasons Why Men Pull Away & How to Make It Stop

It can be a painful sight to watch your man, who was once head over heels for you, starting to keep his distance. However, there are different reasons why men pull away, and figuring out the reasons would help restore the intimacy that once existed in the relationship.

When it comes to a boyfriend pulling away from his partner, it can happen at any relationship stage. So, both committed and non-committed relationships can experience this.

What is the meaning of men pulling away?

Men pull away for different reasons in a relationship, and sometimes, it can be done unconsciously.

For instance, a man who got newly promoted at work to a more demanding position might begin to pull away from his partner unknowingly. It will be noticeable to his partner and not to him. And if no one calls their attention to it, the relationship can be affected adversely.

Also, if the man is offended by his spouse’s behavior, he might give some space for them to figure out their offense. In this case, he is consciously putting in the effort to give some distance.

However, when he pulls away, you will discover that he is no longer interested in some things he would typically love. He might also become poor in communicating or not even bother to discuss with you at all.

In this book by Michael FinLayson titled: Why Men pull away, you will see why men keep their distance even when the relationship is going well. Hence, when you notice some of the behaviors mentioned in this book, it would not come as a surprise.

20 common reasons why men pull away

Are you wondering why your man started pulling away without any notice?

If you are not in a relationship, you might have even asked, “why do guys pull away before they commit?”

There are various reasons for this, and it is important to explore some of them to know how to respond to their actions.

1. He is not sure of his feelings

One of the reasons why men pull away is because they are unsure of their feelings. Sometimes, when we fall in love, there is a tendency to suddenly become uncertain if we are making the right decision or not.

For some men, it is strange to process, and to prevent the situation from looking awkward, they will prefer to keep their distance till they are sure of what they feel.

2. He doesn’t want to commit

You might notice that a man has a crush on you and when the intimacy becomes stronger, he begins to give space. It could be because he is not ready to commit, and he doesn’t want to break your heart.

Similarly, it might be because he has not experienced a long-term and committed relationship and is unaware of what it takes.

3. He is not ready to be vulnerable

Another reason why men pull away is that they don’t like to be vulnerable because they don’t want to hurt their feelings. Hence, they will prefer to play safe by staying away and reducing the quality time with you.

Once they are sure of feeling safe with you, they will return.

4. He still wants to be independent

Sometimes, men withdraw when they like you because they equally savor the feeling of being independent. In a relationship, commitment, effort, and time are needed, preventing him from enjoying some of his present activities.

Some men also feel that staying too close can affect their freedom, and they are not ready for this.

5. He is stressed in other aspects of his life

While you wonder what to do when he pulls away, it is essential to be sure of the reason. It might be because other areas in his life are stressing him, and he doesn’t want it to affect your relationship with him.

Hence, you can be sure that things will return to normalcy when he is done sorting them out.

6. He doesn’t feel deserving of love and happiness

Sometimes, we feel less of ourselves because of our past. If you have ever asked, “why do men pull away when things start to get serious?”

It might be because he has low self-worth. He probably cannot fathom why you love him, and he decides to pull away because he doesn’t want to get too involved.

7. He doesn’t want to lose his identity

Some men believe that stepping up intimacy in a relationship with a close friend or crush can make them lose their identity. Such men don’t want to lose sight of who they are, so they prefer to pull away before it becomes impossible.

He probably has an identity centered on this as a single man, and he doesn’t want to lose it.

8. He is mixing up lust and love

Not everyone knows the correct meaning of lust and love, which is why they are interchanged. It is possible that your crush was only lusting after you, and pulling away might mean that they have moved on to another person.

9. He is very busy

You might be surprised to learn that your crush or partner is very busy with other important commitments, and giving you a break might be a subconscious act.

You have to be patient because he probably finds it difficult to keep up with you and other commitments. And since it is temporary, he will come around soon.

10. He is considering other options besides you

One reason men pull away is that they are thinking of moving on to dating other people. Hence, if he is pulling away, he is spending more time with his options. Therefore, it is not only a time commitment but also an emotional investment.

11. He is not really into you

When a man pulls away, it could be an avenue to discover that he was not into you as you thought. It might be challenging to realize this until they walk out of your life. For some, instead of talking things out with you, they prefer to pull away unannounced.

12. Everything happened too fast for him

If you observed that the vibe in your relationship went from 100 to zero, it could mean that he pulled away because everything went too fast. Most likely, he wants to review his relationship with you and see if he should continue or not.

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