5 Lessons Everyone Struggling In Their 20s Should Know

Now that I’m in my early 30s, I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about my 20s. Even though my 20s weren’t that long ago, it feels like a lifetime has passed since then.

I’ve practically lived 100 different lives since my twentieth birthday. Nothing in my life went the way that I planned it, and I am now learning how to accept that reality.

It’s difficult not to look back on your past and feel regret. You will always find things that you wish that you had done differently — that’s just part of being human. As someone who now teaches students in their 20s, I try to give them the advice that I wish someone had given me at their age.

Here are some important things to remember if you’re struggling to navigate your 20s.

1. Stay open to change.
You can plan out the rest of your life, but nothing will ever prepare you for the curveballs that life will throw your way. You simply can’t plan for everything, and the sooner you accept it, the happier you’ll be.

Give yourself grace when your life strays from your original plan. Sometimes the things that we don’t plan are what we need the most.

2. Don’t compare your success with others’ accomplishments.
Social media has made it far too easy to feel like you’re falling behind in life. We see others’ successes day in and day out, and it can leave us feeling like failures. Remember that on social media, you only see the highlights of someone’s life. Everyone has painful moments, but when we don’t see them, we feel like we shouldn’t ever struggle. However, this just isn’t true.

Some people will walk into their dream jobs or forever relationships early on. It’s easy to feel jealous of these people when our efforts to find happiness aren’t fruitful. But we’ll all find what we’re looking for at the right time. It’s a difficult reality to accept, but we shouldn’t give up on our dreams just because someone else got there before we did.

Success looks different for everyone, and comparing your life to someone else’s won’t make you happy.

3. Take care of your body and mind.
Self-care isn’t just important; it’s crucial for your wellbeing. Taking breaks, sleeping, engaging in activities that bring you joy, drinking water, and eating when you’re hungry sounds trivial. The older you get, though, the more you realize just how important basic self-care tasks are.

I spent the majority of my life treating my body very poorly, and now, at the age of 32, I can feel the repercussions of my actions from my 20s. When I look back at my 20s, I wish that I slept more instead of always pushing myself to work too hard. I wish that I ate more instead of prioritizing being thin. I wish that I took breaks and found hobbies that brought me happiness in life’s difficult moments. Overall, I wish that I cared more about myself in my 20s.

You only get one body and mind, so it’s crucial that you take care of them. No assignment, job, partner, or friend is more important than your wellbeing. Try to treat yourself the way that you treat the ones you love. You deserve that same level of care from yourself.

4. Never settle.
When you begin to worry that you might fall behind in life, you may start to accept any opportunities that come your way. Sometimes you have to take a job you hate because you have no other choice, but that doesn’t mean that you should stop searching for your dream job. Just because you haven’t found your perfect job at age 27 doesn’t mean that you won’t at 28 or 29 years old. Your life can change in an instant, and if you give up now, you’ll never know how far you could have gone.

Similarly, when you want to find a partner, never settle for someone who treats you terribly. Even if everyone else you know is in a relationship and you don’t want to be alone, you don’t deserve an abusive relationship. You will meet someone who will treat you with love and kindness instead of with abuse. Being alone is far better than being with someone who hurts you. You aren’t unlovable or undeserving because you haven’t met your person yet. The right person will find you.

5. Your life doesn’t end when you turn 30.
Society wants us to believe that once we turn 30, our lives are over, but that’s far from the truth. You spend your 20s figuring out who you are, what makes you happy, and what drives you. In your 30s, you become your best self because you laid the groundwork in your 20s. In your 30s, you finally start to be more comfortable embracing yourself, and it feels amazing.

Give yourself the chance to get to 30. You’ll still be yourself; you’ll simply be a better version of yourself. 30 isn’t “old” — your life is truly just beginning.