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5 Things I’ve Learned From Dating A Divorced Parent & Becoming A Bonus Mom

There are plenty of stigmas surrounding dating– whether it’s about someone’s sexuality, career, income, or being part of a blended family. From a young age, many of us are taught to avoid anything or anyone who doesn’t fit into the traditional mold.

One of those stigmas is dating someone who is a single or divorced parent.
The world assumes dating a divorced, widowed, or sing parent comes with extra baggage or unavoidable drama. Sure, it might not always be smooth sailing, but doesn’t everyone bring a little bit of baggage into a relationship?

When I started dating a someone who’s recently divorced and has a daughter, I quickly realized how wrong those assumptions can be. Here are some lessons I’ve learned while being on this journey of dating outside the norm:

1. Their kids come first.
Before we even officially started dating, my boyfriend made it clear: his daughter is his number one priority. We agreed on this upfront, and I’ve admired how he’s consistantly shown up for her as an active, positive role model. It’s inspiring to see someone prioritize their child’s well-being even when balancing a new relationship.

2. Priorities look different, and that’s okay.
Dating as adults is a completely different game. At 29 and 34, we both have our careers, hobbies, and routines and neither of us expects the fairytale romance we might’ve dreamed at sixteen. Instead, we focus on building something real, grounded, and meaningful.

3. Communication is essential.
As in any relationship, communication is key–but it’s espcially important when children are involved. It’s not just about the two of you; there’s a third dynamic to consider. Clear, open conversations about your relationship, your role, and how it affects their child are absolutely essential.

4. You’ll have a bigger impact than you realize.
Change is hard for everyone, but it can be particularly challenging for kids. Whether it’s adjusting to a new family dynamic, or transitioning between two homes, patience and empathy are crucial. My boyfriend and I both come from divorced families, so we’ve used our experiences to help his daughter navigate this transition.

5. You make more of an impact than you realize
When I started dating my boyfriend. I thought that I was just building a relationship with him. But over the past year, I’ve also built a bond with his daughter. Becoming a bonus mom has been one of the most rewarding and unexpected parts of this relationship.

We’re growing together.
Dating someone with a “stigma” has been a learning experience in the best way. This relationship has shown me what it’s like to adapt to a blended family dynamic and taught me valuable lessons about love, patience, and resilience. It’s also prepared me for what parenting might look like in the future.

Most importantly, I’ve learned that it’s perfectly okay to date outside the norm. Being a bonus mom has allowed me to grow in ways I never imagined, and I’m grateful for the chance to be a role model for someone so special.

If you’ve ever hesitated about dating someone with a child, know that it can be just as fulfilling–and even more meaningful–than you might expect. After all, love doesn’t fit neatly into a box, and neither should we.

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