5 words that literally rewire anxious young minds
I’m excited to share that in a 2024 study by the National Institute of Mental Health, researchers tracked the brain activity of children diagnosed with clinical anxiety. Before treatment, their scans showed high activity in areas like the amygdala and frontal lobes—regions associated with fear and overthinking.
After just 12 weeks of CBT, those same areas showed a noticeable drop in activity. Translation: Their brains calmed down.
This is more than a change in symptoms—it’s a change in brain function.
What Parents Can Do—and What Therapy Does Best
Let’s be clear: This kind of brain change was observed after structured CBT sessions led by trained therapists. If your child struggles with chronic anxiety or avoidance, CBT is one of the most evidence-backed treatments available, and professional guidance is key.
That said, as a psychologist and parent coach, I also strongly believe in what happens between therapy sessions—or even before therapy starts.
Parents can reinforce the same calming, rewiring effect when they learn to use certain emotionally regulating words and strategies. You’re not replacing therapy, but you’re modeling the same brain-soothing habits kids are being taught in therapy rooms.
The 5 Brain-Calming Words
Here are five simple words I coach parents to use when helping a child move through anxious spirals. They’re grounded in CBT concepts and meant to be part of your everyday emotional language.
- Name
“Name the worry.” Giving the fear a label (“There’s my scared brain again”) creates space between your child and the thought. - Reframe
“What else could be true?” Flexible thinking quiets all-or-nothing anxiety loops. - Breathe
A pause, a slow exhale, a moment to settle—calming the body slows the mind. - Challenge
“What’s the evidence?” Kids learn to question runaway thoughts like “Everyone will laugh at me.” - Step
“What’s one step I can take?” Forward motion shrinks fears that grow in silence and avoidance.
Why It Matters
Your words don’t have to be perfect. They need to be repeated, safe, and grounded. When those words match the thinking and talking that kids learn in CBT, you create a powerful echo that can amplify healing. I have included these five words in The Anxiety, Depression, & Anger Toolbox for Teens, and am pleased to receive firsthand reader feedback from parents on their value in lowering child and teen anxiety.
We now know that anxiety treatment is more than emotional soothing. It’s about retraining the brain. And when kids hear calm, precise language from the adults around them, they start to internalise that same calm for themselves.
Bottom Line
CBT is powerful—and it works. But even if your child isn’t in therapy, your words still matter. Using these five strategies helps lay the groundwork for calmer thinking, greater emotional flexibility, and lasting resilience.