6 Unintentional Mistakes Women Make That Keep Them Single
So, you are single, and your friends say you are great. You are beautiful, educated, and have a great job. Yet you don’t have a partner to share it with, and you don’t know why.
You could ask a few friends to tell you what your problem is anonymously. It would be revealing since self-awareness can go a long way.
The good news is there is hope.
Sometimes, you don’t need a matchmaker but may need a slight dating intervention.
Here are the 6 unintentional mistakes women make that keep them single.
1. You never stop talking about your ex and how they did you wrong.
Maybe they did you wrong, but you need to move on. Some people never see their fault in the breakup or even their part in how they handled it. So continuing to recycle the hurt only hurts more.
It doesn’t take two to make a marriage fail. It only takes one who wants out for whatever reason. You might have been wronged, but you must move on, no matter what happens.
Five years after her divorce, a lady complained to me about her ex because he had bought a beach house for his girlfriend and her five children. She was caught in a victim mentality. So I wouldn’t match her. She needed to deal with her emotions about the divorce first.
Life goes on without you. You can figure it out and find happiness. Your ex wasn’t the last person on earth. There is an expiration on how long you can hold onto the hurt without damaging yourself.
2. You talk to your friends and let them overanalyze, and criticize a relationship with a new person.
Sometimes, we didn’t even ask for their opinion. Your friends might bring their relationship problems and then project them onto you. Only you know what is going on for sure.
Don’t let them stand in the way of your happiness. They aren’t there every minute. Trust your feelings about the new person you are dating.
Sorting through all your friends’ opinions and emotions becomes a part-time job. You need to be able to make your own decisions, draw your conclusions, and change your destiny. That’s empowering.
3. You look for qualities that have nothing to do with the qualities necessary in relationships.
You might see yourself in this behaviour, “They have to look great on paper.”
You are a career woman who is highly educated, and you deserve the same, right?
You deserve to be treated well, cared for, loved, and have someone in the world who wants to commit to you, and many other things, but nowhere does it say they must be good on paper and make a certain amount of money to be happy and fall in love.
4. You pick them apart and compare them to all the other people you dated.
Maybe the people you’ve dated were great relationships, but where are they now? If those relationships were great, would you still be single now?
I hear it all the time: “My last boyfriend bought me blah blah blah for my birthday. He was so generous, and we travelled and got along so well. He knew how to treat me.”
It might be so, but they didn’t want to commit to you, so they are gone.
Do you want to be the one all others are compared to? Probably not.
5. You compare them to your parents.
Comparisons again. So, we all supposedly marry our fathers and mothers. Some would say, good or bad, that’s where our type comes from. You’ve heard of the momma’s boy? Well, there’s also the daddy’s girl. Everything her new lover does is compared to what her father does for her.
Daddy probably didn’t treat Mommy like a princess and idolize her. It’s all in your head. They had a real relationship with all the ups and downs that come with it.
As a matchmaker, I have women request someone to treat them like a princess. It’s okay to be treated well but princess territory is going too far.
6. You are the demanding career woman in the romance department.
Don’t be your own worst enemy. We can see someone who complains about everything under the sun coming, and they make us want to hide. No, our calendar isn’t filled up, we are avoiding the conflict.
Kindness and respect for people is the solution here. Aggressive and demanding behaviours might work in the boardroom but not the bedroom.
Everyone is looking for a little caring and soothing place to kick off their shoes, yourself included.