A Guide To Moving On Without Getting Closure
When a relationship sours and ends in confusion, you’re left in a whirlwind of negative emotions. There’s the frustration of feeling disrespected, the sadness of having your expectations shattered, and the regret of giving another person your time.
Yes, it’s normal to wonder if any of it was real or feel an urge to reach out for clarity. Although you deserve mature communication at the end of a relationship to get closure, it is not always given. But don’t spend your time focused on what-ifs. Reel your mind in and get back to a centred you.
Here are five ways to find peace after experiencing a breakup with no closure.
1. Disconnect From Triggers
When getting get through a breakup, it’s important not to get sucked into ruminating about your ex. This means that you have to cut the cord mentally and physically. Get rid of items they’ve given to you and avoid going to your usual hangout spots, hoping to bump into them. Most importantly, protect your mind by letting go of what could have been and instead identifying red flags that you’ll avoid in the future, such as unavailability and emotional distance. Steer clear of digital reminders such as social media, texts, and old voice messages. Creating distance is a way of setting boundaries and not getting sucked into the “why’s” of their poor communication skills.
2. Connect with Your Support System
Luckily, you don’t have to go through this process alone. Include your trusted friends and family in your transition process, and they’ll be sure to help you stay focused on yourself. If there’s no one currently trustworthy in your life, seek counselling services from mental health or religious communities. Being around people who support you reminds you that there’s love around you outside of romantic relationships.
3. Create Your Own Closure
The most potent part of your healing process will be when you give yourself closure. There are various methods of releasing emotions from a breakup, which can be done based on your preferred modality. If physical activity is essential to you, consider walking meditation as a way to contemplate the future and release the past with every step. If anger is still lingering, take a boxing class and use punching as a cathartic release to take your power back. Or if you’re the journaling type, consider writing out your perspective of the breakup, write a letter about things left unsaid, or write an uplifting list of the new you after reflecting on lessons from this past relationship. In the end, you write your own ending.
4. Reclaim Your Identity
Reconnecting with who you were before intertwining your life with someone else will be a gratifying part of your healing process. Revisit your daily routines that got you through the day on your terms. Enjoy unique interests that never needed anyone’s validation. Be curious about yourself and ponder exploratory questions; When do I feel most like me? What makes me feel strong? Who am I when I am not someone’s partner? Rediscovering yourself will lead you to an empowered future.
5. Set New Goals
During this time of rebirth, it is essential to look forward to new possibilities ahead. Your evolved personal values will lead you to new hobbies, daily routines, and personal projects. Romance-wise, you’ll be prepared to only connect with people who radiate maturity and empathy.
Getting over a partner without closure is a frustrating story with no ending. But you have the autonomy to get out of a story that doesn’t serve you and write your ending. You’ll begin anew by connecting with your support system, creating your own closure, and reclaiming your identity. The only way to go is forward, and you will, as a wiser individual who knows you don’t wait for others to end your chapter.