How to Boost Relationship Satisfaction and Prevent Divorce

Some relationships thrive, while others deteriorate over time, leading to separation or divorce. The latter outcome, of course, is less likely to occur when relationship satisfaction is high.

For instance, a 2024 study found that “people in dissolving (vs. continuing) relationships had lower levels of relationship satisfaction and experienced a more pronounced decrease in relationship satisfaction over the course of their relationship.”

How can relationship satisfaction be increased? One approach involves relationship investment strategies. A recent cross-sectional study by Bokek-Cohen and Halamish-Leshem has identified 46 such strategies and examined their effectiveness in improving relationship satisfaction.

Details of the study

Sample: A total of 483 Israeli individuals, consisting of couples who were either cohabiting or married. Average age 38 (range: 19-77); 20% male; 83% Jewish and 16% Arab; an average of 13 years in their current relationship (range: 1 to 55 years).

Measures: Relationship satisfaction was gauged using the Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale.

To assess relationship investment, the authors used a measure they had developed themselves, which they called the Relationship Investment Tactics Scale. The measure consisted of 46 items, classified into six categories of tactics.

Results: Relationship satisfaction was associated with tactics from four categories: emotional gestures, material gestures, shared activities, and being supportive of the partner’s family and friends.

There was no significant gender difference in using these tactics, except that men tended to use material gestures (e.g., pampering) more than women.

Effective relationship investment strategies

Below are the 46 tactics identified in the study, categorised into six groups. These are listed here along with examples. Note, only the first four tactics (bolded here) were associated with relationship satisfaction.

1. Emotional care and gestures: Showing love and care through hugging, kissing, affectionate text messages, and the like.
2. Material gestures and pampering: Showing love through acts of service. For example, by giving one’s partner a ride to work or a friend’s home.
3. Shared activities: Engaging in shared activities (e.g., date night) or hosting mutual friends.
4. Partner’s family and friends: Demonstrating care and support for the partner’s loved ones.
5. Giving one another space: Supporting your partner’s need for autonomy and pursuing their own interests (e.g., career goals).
6. Investing in physical appearance and sex: Taking care of one’s appearance, having regular sex, and focusing on satisfying the partner’s sexual needs and fantasies.

Showing your commitment

If you’re in a romantic relationship but feel unhappy, try recalling times when you experienced deep interpersonal chemistry, intimacy, sexual satisfaction, love and affection, and mutual support.

Perhaps you cannot and are wondering how to reignite happiness. Luckily, some strategies can help.

One approach I’ve discussed before involves increasing love feelings for one’s partner (e.g., by looking at their photos).

Another approach, as highlighted by the current study, involves learning to communicate feelings of love that are already there; specifically, by behaving in ways that show how committed and invested you are in the relationship.

In Summary

The research reviewed found four relationship investment strategies that can communicate love and help increase relationship satisfaction.

1. Emotional care and gestures: Includes physical and verbal gestures of affection, such as saying “I love you,” kissing, hugging, and making compromises. Also important are attentive listening, expressing gratitude, admitting mistakes, apologising, and seeking forgiveness.

2. Material gestures and pampering: This includes thoughtful gifts (flowers, concert tickets, jewellery), cooking your partner’s favourite dish, or helping with chores.

3. Shared activities: Engaging in activities you both can do and enjoy, whether it’s watching movies, gardening, dancing, playing board games, or travelling.

4. Partner’s family and friends: Showing respect and care for your partner’s loved ones, such as calling, visiting, or inviting them over. And remembering to treat them in a respectful, caring, and supportive manner.

Most of the relationship investment tactics mentioned are neither costly nor complicated. In fact, they require little more than time, effort, and consistency. Yet, consistently applying these tactics can make a significant difference in relationship happiness and satisfaction.