How to change the mind of the most stubborn person you know

Story By psychologytoday.com On August 7, 2025, 12:44 PM

We all know that person—the one who clings to outdated ideas despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Maybe it’s your partner who insists climate change is a hoax, your friend who believes outlandish conspiracy theories, or your colleague who refuses to consider new approaches at work.

You’ve probably tried reasoning with them, presenting facts, or even arguing passionately about why they’re wrong. Yet, somehow, they seem to become more entrenched in their belief—and you just get more frustrated!

The problem isn’t that they’re stupid or stubborn by nature. New research (Hoffman et al., 2025) reveals that typical persuasion methods work against how the brain processes information. Traditional approaches to changing minds often involve presenting facts, debunking myths, or highlighting the dangers of incorrect beliefs. But neuroscience research reveals these methods often backfire (Sharot & Sunstein, 2020). Ironically, even professional persuaders make this mistake. Advertisers, politicians, and influencers routinely use approaches that conflict with how the brain actually works, like negative political ads that focus on what’s wrong with the opponent, fear-based health campaigns that emphasize disease and death, or financial advisors who scare people with retirement horror stories. These approaches trigger our brain’s fight-or-flight response, making us want to tune out rather than tune in.

How your brain responds to persuasion

To understand belief change, we need to grasp two key concepts. First is reward prediction error (RPE)—think of it as your brain’s built-in surprise/evaluation detector. When something turns out better than you expected, your brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that makes you feel good and motivates you to seek more of that experience. When things turn out worse than expected, dopamine drops, making you want to avoid similar situations (Schultz, 2016).

The second concept is subjective value of information (SVOI)—how personally meaningful and useful information feels to you. Information that aligns with your identity and goals gets tagged as “high value” by your brain’s reward system (Sharot & Garrett, 2016); “low value” information gets metaphorically trashed.

Why attempts often fail

Here’s the problem: Most attempts to change beliefs focus on what’s wrong with current thinking rather than what’s rewarding about new thinking. Consider these common approaches:

The negative political ad: “Don’t vote for my opponent—they’ll raise your taxes, destroy jobs, and ruin everything you care about.”
The fear-based marketing campaign: “Without our identity protection, criminals will hack into your accounts, and terrorize your family.”
The fear-based health message: “Smoking gives you cancer, makes you smell like ashes, and wastes your cash.”
The climate change doom scenario: “Global warming will destroy the planet, cause mass extinction, and leave your children a wasteland.”
The financial scare tactic: “If you don’t invest now, you’ll be poor and miserable in retirement.”

While factually accurate, these messages trigger your brain’s threat-detection system rather than its learning and reward pathways. When information feels threatening, your amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) takes over, shutting down the rational thinking needed for belief change (Charpentier & Dezza, 2022).

The neuroscience of positive persuasion

Research shows that messages emphasizing future gains rather than current losses are far more effective at changing minds (Kobayashi & Hsu, 2019). Your brain has an “optimism bias”—it’s literally wired to pay more attention to good news than bad news. When reframing some of the previous examples, we take a positive approach:

The empowering health message: “People who quit smoking report feeling more energetic, saving thousands of dollars, and enjoying better relationships. You’ll likely find food tastes better and physical activities become more enjoyable.”
The climate opportunity frame: “Embracing clean energy creates high-paying jobs, reduces healthcare costs from pollution, and builds stronger, more resilient communities. You’ll be part of solutions that improve life for everyone.”
The wealth-building vision: “Starting to invest now puts you on track for financial freedom, earlier retirement, and the ability to pursue your passions without money stress.”

Notice how each reframe focuses on prospective gains rather than losses avoided. This activates your brain’s reward prediction system, making the information feel more valuable and personally relevant.

4 neuro-consistent strategies to change minds

Create positive surprise: Generate curiosity before delivering your message. Ask questions that reveal gaps in current knowledge without making people feel defensive. “Did you know that people who [desired behavior] often experience [positive outcome]?” This primes the brain for a rewarding learning experience.
Make it personal: Generic information feels less valuable to your brain. Tailor messages to individual circumstances, values, and goals. Instead of “Everyone should exercise,” try “Since you mentioned wanting more energy for weekend activities with your kids, here’s how 20 minutes of morning movement could help.”
Emphasize benefits over risks: Frame new information in terms of what people gain rather than what they lose. Your brain’s reward system responds more strongly to potential gains than potential losses, even when the objective value is identical.
Respect autonomy: People resist being told what to think. Instead, present options and let them choose. “Here are three approaches you might consider…” feels much less threatening than “You must do this.” Choice activates reward pathways and reduces defensive responses.

Apply this knowledge

For parents: Instead of saying “Stop playing video games, or you’ll fail school,” try “When you finish homework first, you’ll enjoy gaming more because you won’t have that nagging worry in the back of your mind.”
For managers: Rather than “Your performance is slipping,” consider “I’d like to help you get back to the level where you felt most successful and confident in your work.”
For health professionals: Replace “You need to lose weight or you’ll get diabetes” with “Patients who make these changes often tell me they feel more energetic and sleep better within just a few weeks.”

Why this matters

Understanding the neuroscience of belief change isn’t just academic curiosity—it’s essential for anyone who wants to influence others effectively. Whether you’re a teacher, parent, manager, or simply someone who cares about truth and positive change, working with your brain’s natural learning systems rather than against them dramatically improves your success rate.

You just learned something about motivation that most people will never know. But this is just the beginning of what neuroscience reveals about peak performance and sustained achievement. The Paradox of Passion: How Rewards Covertly Control Motivation takes you deeper into the research that’s revolutionizing how we understand motivation, learning, and optimal performance.