For my entire life, I’ve been a quiet person. I keep to myself and observe those around me. For the longest time, people would ask me why I was so quiet.
I never really knew how to answer that question aside from saying, “I don’t know; I just am.” And the thing is, I never thought of myself as shy. I just always knew that I was quiet.
It wasn’t until my twenties that I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and realized that I’m an introvert.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. This realization was a turning point, a moment of clarity that many of us can relate to.
At first, I didn’t understand what being an introvert meant, but now I do. Being an introvert has nothing to do with how talkative or loud you are — it’s based on your social battery. My energy slowly drains when I’m around others, and I need time to recharge. It’s not that I don’t enjoy being around people; I do. My energy just doesn’t last forever. When it runs out, I need space to refill it.
While an introvert, I’m friendly and get along with people. My relationship with someone greatly influences how I interact with them.
The other night, I went out to dinner with friends, and one of my favorite people on the planet came along. The entire night, I felt like I could be myself. I was lively, talkative, laughing, you name it. I felt free to express myself in a way that made the night feel effortless. But once my friend left for the night, leaving me with half the group, something changed.
I wasn’t the same person anymore. I went quiet. I wasn’t as engaged in the conversation as before, all because that person wasn’t there.
You’re probably thinking, “Well, it seems like you’re fake.” But here’s the thing: I’m the furthest thing from that. Because my social battery drains so slowly, it can be hard to open up to people fully.
As an introvert, it takes time for me to truly feel comfortable when I’m with someone.
When meeting new people in a group, I often retreat into myself, assessing the situation. I’m not standoffish or pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m just conserving my energy, waiting until I feel comfortable enough to let it out. Some people might see my quietness as a sign that I’m closed off or uninterested, but the truth is I’m just taking my time.
You probably understand if you’ve ever had to wait to feel a connection with someone. When I’m comfortable and feel like I can truly be myself, I open up. I share my thoughts, my humor, and my real self. It’s just that it takes me a while to get there.
But when I do reach that point – when I’ve let someone in – they’ll see who I really am. They’ll see the side of me that’s lively, energetic, and fully engaged. It’s not that I don’t want to connect with others or be around them. Simply put, I need time and space to recharge and truly feel comfortable before fully engaging.
I’m not fake; I’m just cautious.
Being an introvert has taught me the value of meaningful relationships. I don’t need a large group of friends, but I do need people I can trust and connect with deeply. I’m more about quality than quantity. If I’ve made it to that point with you, you’ve earned my time and energy. And once that connection is made, I’ll give you everything I’ve got. This understanding of the importance of deep connections can make us all feel appreciated and valued.
So, no, I’m not fake; I’m just introverted. And when you take the time to understand that, I promise you, you’ll see the real me — the one who’s funny, warm, and ready to let you in. It just takes me a little longer to get there, and that’s okay. This reassurance of our authenticity can make us all feel understood and accepted.
