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What a leader must know about familiarity

Source Dag Heward-Mills

It is good for a leader to be known by his followers and others he interacts with.

However, when this gets excessive, it gets into the domain of familiarity with its many evils.

Familiarity can kill the great accomplishments of a leader.

Jesus said that a prophet is not without honour, save in his own country and among his people.

People who are familiar can wage a war against what you can accomplish as a leader; so beware!

Know familiarity

Familiarity is the disease that kills the ministry of a prophet. But Jesus said unto them, “A prophet is not without honour, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house.” Mark 6:4

It was the most powerful antagonist to the anointing on Jesus’ ministry.

And he could there do no mighty work, save that he laid his hands upon a few sick folk, and healed them. Mark 6:5
Familiarity is a product of frequent interaction with a leader.

It is probably the reason why many leaders are lonely. …From whence hath this man these things? and what wisdom is this which is given unto him, that even such mighty works are wrought by his hands? Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? and are not his sisters here with us? nd they were offended at him. Mark 6:2,3

Familiarity is a product of much knowledge of a leader. Remember the old adage, “Too much of everything is bad!”. This is why every leader should maintain some degree of privacy and mystique.

It is necessary and important to fight the inability of a leader to do mighty works – which is birthed by familiarity.

And he could there do no mighty work, save that he laid his hands upon a few sick folk, and healed them. Mark 6:5

Familiarity incubates contempt and disrespect.

The inhabitants of Jesus’ hometown were angered at his preaching. They were not neutral.

They were outraged and thought that Jesus should be silenced.

If he had been a stranger to them, their reaction would have been different. In fact, you are usually better received when you have the aura of a visitor.

And all they in the synagogue, when they heard these things, were filled with wrath, And rose up, and thrust him out of the city, and led him unto the brow of the hill whereon their city was built, that they might cast him down headlong. Luke 4:28,29

Friendship incubates familiarity. Jesus’ friendship with Peter created a problem of familiarity. This showed up when Jesus asked Peter his opinion about his ministry.

He saith unto them, But whom say ye that I am? And Simon Peter answered and said: “Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God”. And Jesus answered and said unto him, “Blessed art thou, Simon Barjona: for flesh and blood hath not revealed it unto thee, but my Father which is in heaven.

” Matthew 16:15-17

Peter thought he had the right to say things he did not even understand. You would have thought that friendship would help the work to progress. Sometimes it does.

But when familiarity creeps in and the leader is taken for granted, the work is affected and the friendship becomes inimical to the work.

Jesus promoted Peter to be the head of the church.

Sometimes when people are elevated a little they feel that they are equal to their seniors and teachers.

This is unfortunate But we call all relate to it.

It is a human weakness.

“And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it”. Matthew 16:18

Familiarity is detected when subordinates make comments about certain things.

This is presumptuous.

The fact that your leader has discussed personal things with you does not mean that you should step out of order.

Are you a leader? Can you relate to this? This can have adverse effects on a leader and let him create barriers that may not even be helpful.

Familiarity is detected when a subordinate attempts to correct his leader. Peter began to feel “extra free”.

He thought that he could now correct Jesus. Can you imagine that?.

But that is how people usually behave. Familiarity usually leads to presumption.

Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, “Be it far from thee,” Lord: this shall not be unto thee. Matthew 16:22

Although a leader needs his fair share of correction, the subordinate is not qualified to do this.

Correction upwards with the wrong attitude can be a recipe for confusion.

Familiarity is detected when a follower attempts to direct his leader.

Peter began to make pronouncements about the ministry of Jesus. Peter thought that his friendship with Christ gave him the authority to direct and to correct Jesus.

He thought that his conversation about people’s opinions of Christ made him an opinion-holder.

Perhaps he thought that Jesus needed his input.

Be quick to detect subtle indications of familiarity.

Jesus was very quick to notice that Peter was out of order. Imagine entering your office and seeing a junior officer holding a meeting with some other officers, sitting in your chair behind your desk with the rest sitting around him.

What would you do? From the above, it is necessary for a leader to have an element of surprise in some of the things he does.

You cannot be predictable all the time.
It can have negative repercussions. Surprise is a very important weapon of war.

It is a weapon your enemy loves to use against you. When the enemy surprises you, you may be found wanting. You must use the weapon of surprise to advantage and to also fight the spirit of familiarity which makes a leader unable to achieve great things.

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