‘What are we?’: How to know if a situationship is right for you
The situationship. You’ve probably heard about it all over social media or maybe even been in one yourself. But if you find yourself wondering what this fake-sounding word is, buckle up, because it’s time to dive into the wonderfully confusing world of romantic “gray areas.”
A “situationship” is one of those modern relationship labels that defies old-school definitions: it’s not exactly a traditional relationship, but it’s more than just a casual hookup. Instead of involving labels and expectations, situationships exist in the murky space between friends-with-benefits and full-blown romantic partnerships.
Situationships usually start out pretty chill.
You meet someone, the vibes are good, and you both just “go with the flow” — no pressure, no expectations. The connection feels fun, exciting, and low-key enough to avoid a full-on commitment. But when someone catches feelings, situationships start to get messy. To make matters worse, one person usually develops stronger feelings than the other does. That’s when the confusion hits.
Imagine hanging out with someone you really enjoy spending time with, going on a few dates, sharing secrets, and having deep conversations about life. But then, when it’s time to commit, neither you nor your partner is all the way “in” on a full relationship. When both parties fear that labelling the relationship will speed up the commitment too quickly, you’re stuck with one inevitable question: “What are we?”
Sometimes, though, a situationship is exactly what both partners need. Some people love the freedom to enjoy companionship without the pressures of a serious relationship. Others see situationships as a “stopgap” that can help them figure out what they want long-term.
If both partners are on the same page about casual relationships, situationships can work perfectly well.
Situationships thrive off of uncertainty, which can sometimes make them feel like emotional roller coasters. The lack of labels can give you freedom, but it can also provoke anxiety. You may find yourself constantly decoding texts like they’re encrypted messages and asking your friends for advice like they’re “relationship detectives.” You may spend the day excitedly waiting for a text but spiral at 2 a.m., wondering why they took five hours to respond to your message.
This ambiguity can sometimes lead to misunderstandings.
Without clear communication about what each person wants, a situation can end with partners hurting each other’s feelings of not meeting each other’s needs. To make a situation work, you need to have honest conversations about your expectations and feelings. Those conversations might feel awkward, but they’re worth your time.
Situationships are for people who want to live in the moment without defining their romantic futures. They embrace the spontaneity of romance, the excitement of connection, the messiness of life’s uncertainties. Situationships remind us that not every relationship needs a neat label to be meaningful. Sometimes, simply enjoying the ride is enough — as long as both partners agree.