I was scrolling on TikTok the other day and came across a video from Anna Redman. You might remember her from Matt James’ season of The Bachelor. And if you remember her from that season, then you definitely remember the mistake she made.
During one of the episodes, Anna made a brutal comment about another contestant.
She told one of her friends in the house that one of the other women was “entertaining men for money” in a gossipy, low-blow tone. As she spoke, her face contorted and her teeth bared, like she wanted to eat the other girl alive with her words and expressions. That episode aired in 2021 — over four years ago. But I still remember every detail of that scene and just how mean Anna was.
Now, every Anna pops up on my For You Page, I remember her as “the Bachelor contestant who spread the escort rumor.” I don’t think of her newer content, her brand deals, or her aesthetic. That one mistake — her first impression on national TV — is how I view her. I remember how cruel, mean, and hurtful she was.
You might believe that people change, and you’re right.
I’m sure that Anna’s grown since then. By all appearances, she’s doing just fine too. She’s successful, beautiful, and making moves. But none of that erases how she introduced herself to the world.
That’s the thing about first impressions — they stick.
People always tell us not to judge a book by its cover, but honestly, we all do. We might not make a final decision on someone right away, but our first exposure to someone plants a seed in our minds. Depending on how this person carries themselves, that seed will either grow into something beautiful, or it’ll sour into a memory that we can’t fully shake.
I’d rather take my time warming up to someone than come on too strong and give them the wrong impression. I’m naturally quiet, and it takes time for me feel comfortable around new people. But I would rather have others remember me as the “quiet girl” than as the “mean girl.” “Quiet” might be misunderstood at first, but “mean” sticks in others’ minds like gum on a shoe.
Many people will never forget how you made them feel when they first met you.
If you make a bad first impression, you might eventually change, grow, heal, and help others. But the people who saw an unkind version of you will remember you for how you treated them, especially if your nasty behavior was a pattern.
We’ve all had moments we’re not proud of. We’ve all made out-of-pocket comments or gossiped about others, letting our insecurities speak for us. But what matters is whether you consistently lead with mean energy or you learn from it.
We often underestimate how much our briefest interactions with people matter. Our tone, our eye contact — or lack thereof — and our side comments speak volumes. People notice whether we genuinely listen, or we just wait for our turn to talk. They see whether we include people or dismiss them. All of these things shape others’ first impressions of you.
The energy you give off in a “first interaction” matters.
Some people in my life have made first impressions that stuck with me and not in a good way. Whether they were cold, condescending, dismissive, or arrogant, their initial attitude stayed with me. Some have softened over time or tried to reintroduce themselves, but I still don’t care for them. Their initial energy shaped the way that I see them, and it’s hard to unsee now.
