Woman Wants Her Sister To Walk Her Down The Aisle But Her Fiancé Is Insisting On A ‘Traditional’ Wedding
Despite living in the 21st century, one man and his family have opted to stay stuck in the past when they refused to let a woman’s sister walk her down the aisle during a wedding.
The 23-year-old woman who was getting ready to marry her fiancé posted to the “r/AmItheA–hole” (AITA) subreddit to figure out if she was in the wrong for wanting her 32-year-old half-sister — who was also her maid of honor — to walk her down the aisle.
She wants her half-sister to walk her down the aisle because she doesn’t have anyone else.
That isn’t to say that if she had someone else to walk her she would let them, but that her sister means so much to her that no one else could fit the position of walking her down the aisle.
In order to provide some context and explain just how much her sister meant to her, she gave readers a backstory on their upbringing.
“I was raised by my older half-sister,” she writes. “I never met my dad and our mom OD’d when I was 10 and my sister was 19.”
She explains that her sister’s biological father was still around and wanted to support her, but wouldn’t support her younger sister who had nobody. As a result, the older sister took guardianship of her younger sister, causing her family to go low contact with her.
“In order to raise me she gave up a lot; her relationship with her father, college, her 20s, and so much more,” she explains.
A few months ago, when she got engaged, she told her sister that “in addition to being my maid of honor, I also wanted her to be the one to walk me down the aisle.”
“All my life she’s had to fulfill so many roles for me — big sister, mother, father, friend — that it only felt right that those multiple roles be honored on one of the biggest days of my life.”
They were both ecstatic, except some things ended up getting in the way.
Her fiancé and his family objected to having her sister walk her down the aisle.
“My future in-laws are very traditional and my fiance had always expected that his wedding would be a very traditional white wedding,” she explained. He told her that he was happy she would be her maid of honor but said it was unlike tradition to give her two roles — that a man should be walking her down the aisle.
“Apparently, his family had assumed that my future father-in-law would be the one to give me away since I don’t have any male relatives,” but she wanted her sister. She was the only person that could make it feel right — the only one that could really give her away, as is the meaning behind the tradition.
However, her mother-in-law claimed that she was being selfish and it was “also my fiance’s wedding,” so now she wonders if being stubborn is the right choice.
Commenters told her that this was a hill that she should die on.
No one was on the side of the fiancé and his family, and many people even turned it into a much larger deal than just walking down the aisle.
“Tell your [mother-in-law] that your [father-in-law] can walk your fiancé down the aisle if he wants to give someone away,” the top comment read. “Or better yet, strongly consider not marrying into this family because they’re the a–holes.”
“Just because something is done one way, does not mean it cannot be done in a different way. This is VERY telling of how he sees gender roles,” read a second comment.
Even though her sister backed down and claimed that she would be fine just sticking to being the Maid of Honor, she should keep fighting against their pushes.
“Your sister is trying to keep the peace. Don’t back down,” a third commenter wrote. “Their ‘tradition’ is not yours, and THEY need to compromise and accept that.”
She updated the post, explaining that she had a lot to think about and would sit beside herself and her feelings and explain how she would be moving forward in another post.
Hopefully, she makes the right decision in honoring the woman who raised her.