What Questions Do You Ask on First Dates?

Last weekend, I laughed out loud…

…while taking a podcast walk and listening to a This American Life episode, where people shared loaded questions they asked on first dates.

“What do you think of Beyoncé?” is the first-date question that editor Emanuele Berry asks. “It’s a question that tells you how they feel about a powerful Black woman,” she says. “If you feel the need to put her down or say something negative about her, it’s a real turn-off, it’s a red flag, basically.”

A woman named Kelsey asks her dates to name their favorite Tom Hanks movies. Since he’s been in so many different kinds, the question serves as a personality test. (Ed. note: The correct answer is Big.)

And Vivianne in Iowa says, “If your ex walked by right now with their new partner, what would you do?” which is a playful way of asking, how f-ed up was your last relationship?

Funny, right? As for actual questions, I like asking about someone’s top three movies, a book they’ve read recently, or a trip they’d love to take, money no object. They’re not loaded questions but usually kickstart fun conversations.

  • Name ideas for firstborn?
  • Marriage: yay or nay?
  • If number 2 yay….where?





  • What is your biggest fear?
  • What are your greatest insecurities?
  • What is something you never thought you’d tell anyone?
  • What’s your take-home pay?
  • Current positive or negative goal weight?
  • Exes….how many? And are you still in contact with them?
  • What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?
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