10 Things to Try When You Feel Overwhelmed

You know the feeling: You have a full, bright day ahead and a sunny List of Champions to conquer. You’ll feel super satisfied and accomplished when you check off the list.

But your brain short-circuits about where to begin and… you decide to lie down… and you conquer the Nap of Champions instead. (Granted, if you’re at work you may not be able to fully lie down, but you can still doom scroll endlessly, answer needless emails, look for that dinner recipe, or [your favourite avoidance/distraction strategy here].)

We set ourselves up to fail this way, with a long list to complete on a “day off” or fresh to work on a Monday. We slide right into overwhelm, and then don’t accomplish much of anything. We feel disappointed or worse, self-punishing or self-destructive, devolving into negative self-talk and a familiar, vicious cycle.

Here are ten great options for relief, and you can even practice these new overwhelm-coping skills with this list itself. Ten may be too many ideas to absorb at first.

As you’ll learn in the first hack, you can read or try just one or two of these suggestions (they can be worked together or separately), then come back for more. They’ll still be here! In no particular order:

1. Lower your expectations.

This is a game-changer, but easy to accomplish. If you have a list of 20 tasks, or even five accumulated from the last week or month, that’s great. But never expect yourself to get them all checked off in a day.

Reframe your idea of your list. Consider it an ongoing, running tab, and if you accomplish even one or two items on a given day, it’s a win: apply #8.

2. Block it out.

Yeah, yeah, we all know we’re supposed to block out time for certain tasks, and also block out stimuli by turning off phones, email, text notifications, etc. But how many of us actually do this?

You don’t have to do it all at once; just experiment and play with this by turning off one distraction for an hour, or even 10 or 15 minutes, to start—not every day, all day.

Just choose a bit of time (blocking out a regular time in your schedule does work well if you’re trying to create a habit) and turn off or silence one screen or notification. If you’re not in charge of the noise factor or distractions around you, try headphones and focus music as an additional strategy.

3. It’s not a choice.

People who consistently exercise don’t wake up and ask themselves if they’re going to work out that day. If it’s Tuesday, the alarm rings, and without a thought, off they go to pickleball.

The same is true for task lists. Decide in advance the one (or two) things that aren’t negotiable the next day. Then wake up knowing you are going to do that one thing. This hack also vanquishes the “Where do I even start?” paralysis. You wake up and already know!

4. Get that buddy—before, during, or after.

Accountability supports you. It helps in exercise if you promise to meet someone at the gym. It helps in substance misuse if you agree to go to that meeting.

Again, choose one or two things on your list. Then tell a buddy either what you plan to do, are in the midst of doing it (but don’t use this to derail you for more than a minute or two!), or as a reward (see #8!) after you’re done (and BTW, great job!).

5. Take five (senses, that is).

Executive function—our forebrain that helps us get things accomplished, plan ahead, organize, etc.—thrives in novelty and nature. We’re also animals and learn to respond like Pavlov’s proverbial dogs.

What does this mean? That a literal walk around the block really does help clear your mind. Or that spraying a vivifying essential oil before you sit down to work wakens your senses and gives you energy for what’s next (and like Pavlov’s dogs, you’ll know it’s go-time when you inhale it).

Mix it up for yourself. Focus music may help get you going, or open a window for fresh air. Take some deep breaths, sip a favourite beverage, and try a yoga pose or two. Use your body and its senses, it’s made for you!

6. Start with fifteen.

We know it, but it really does help. Set that timer and promise yourself you’ll stay on task for 15 minutes (or even five). Once you’re a few minutes in and the timer rings, you can stop—or you can choose to keep going.

Often, even after a few minutes you feel that endorphin sense of accomplishment and can go another five or ten minutes, or even more. Maybe some days, you can’t. That’s fine! We get more done when we don’t flog ourselves with hours at one task. Little bits add up to a finished product, and we feel better too.

7. Be nice!

That self-talk is the author of the vicious—and virtuous—cycle. If you’re trying to change behaviour, encourage yourself like you would anyone else. Be nice!

You can make a list (this can be one of the items on your rolling list to accomplish) of ±ten nice things to tell yourself when your inner voice says, “Why’d you go and do that again?!” or worse. Try: “This is new, it’s going to take time, that’s OK”; “You got it halfway done, great job!”; “I’m proud of you for starting; it might take several tries,” and so on.

8. Reward yourself.

Behavior change is tough. Otherwise, we’d already be healthy eating, super-exercising, sleep hygiene-ing human-bots. You deserve kudos all along the way.

Promise yourself a favourite beverage once you get to that goal point; a phone call or text to a friend; a break outside, a hobby activity, or what have you. You planned it and you did it. Great job. That deserves a mini-celebration—even if it’s only positive self-talk—every single time.

9. Choose your time (of the day).

Night owl, morning person, midday maven? Whatever you are, you know it by now. As in all things, play to your strengths. Plan to do that one tough thing on your list when you know you’re at your best, then take it a bit easier instead of pushing past the point of positive returns. You’ll feel better and in the long run, you’ll get more done.

10. Prioritize—for yourself and no one else.

Sure, we have to do things at work and even at home on other people’s timelines or priorities. Maybe that’s even your reality most days.

But if that’s so, see if you can aim for two things to accomplish on your list each day. One per the other person’s agenda, one per yours. One simple thing, even for a few minutes, that leaves you feeling gratified, and empowered—a quick email to a good friend, a look online for your next book to savor, a five-minute vacation outside. The rest, as they say, is gravy.

If one of these ten strategies resonates, try it. Then maybe one more, and so on. And best of luck—if you’ve gotten this far, you’re on your way past overwhelm!