I bet you did not know today, November 19, is International Men’s Day.
Well, I won’t be surprised if you are shocked that there is a day set aside to celebrate men across the globe.
November 19 of every year is one that is set aside to celebrate men.
But really, I ask; what are we celebrating?
Isn’t everyday men’s day especially in our part of the world?
The International Men’s Day, however, is a day meant for most people, especially men, to sit and reflect on the contributions they have made or can make to make society better for all.
Talking about contributions, do you mind asking yourself that as a man, what significant contributions have I made to make my society better?
If you can’t readily think of any contribution, I’m sure you can think of something you can do now to make the world a better place for us all.
The International Men’s Day focuses on promoting gender equality, producing responsible males, showcasing positive male role models and improving gender relations.
That’s not all there is to this day. On this day, men are expected to unlearn all the toxic training they have learned.
What are some of the toxic training?
In Ghana, there’s a popular saying associated with men and it says “Barima nsu” to wit, men don’t cry. Can I say this is the beginning of the masculinity of men? Of course yes!
Men right from infancy are trained not to express emotions. You can’t cry. In fact, you are not allowed to.
Since they are trained not to express emotions, whoever expresses emotions is seen as extremely weak. well that’s what they think.
So, on this day, we ask all men to unlearn all the toxic narratives and allow themselves to be better.
This is how you can be better for yourself and the society.
- Speak up on against violence women
Violence comes in so many forms. Sexual, physical and psychological violence. According to the fact and figures report by the United Nations Women, an estimated 35 per cent of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or sexual violence by a non-partner (not including sexual harassment) at some point in their lives. This figure is frightening.
The same report also revealed that of the 87,000 women who were intentionally killed in 2017 globally, more than half (50,000- 58 per cent) were killed by intimate partners or family members.
This means that 137 women across the world are killed by a member of their own family every day.
Speaking up against the violence will make significant improvement towards reducing the alarming figures stated above.
- Unlearn old practices
Growing up in a typical African home, there were specific roles assigned to specific genders.
For instance, when it came to doing the dishes or any chore in the kitchen guess who will be assigned that task. The girl of course!
The girls were always told their place is the kitchen and so while the actions were happening in the kitchen, the boys were busy watching TV or perhaps playing some games.
Most of us have grown with this practice. So this celebrated actor, Adjettey Annan, once said he does the dishes at home sometimes and oh, this created a stare in Ghana.
Many did not understand why a man should be doing the dishes. This is simply because most of us have been told a woman’s place is in the kitchen and not the man.
But really, what is the big deal here? Help at home by doing some sweeping, dishes and what not. I have never heard of a story where a man broke a bone simply by doing the dishes or sweeping.
This is one of the toxic narratives men must unlearn. On the occasion of International Men’s Day today, start making the difference by doing what you were taught were “a girl’s job”.
- Sex
Hwew! I could not wait to get to this point. We all like to talk sex, don’t we? Well i like to but this is not your kind of sex talk.
Men have been oriented to believe they are strong. That, however, is not in dispute.
But this orientation has given men a certain sense of entitlement. They think they must get whatever it is they set their eyes on.
This is encouraging rape culture. It is encouraging sexual abuse.
Sex is not by force. Stop the sexual abuse.
Sex, I believe is a pleasurable thing which, must be enjoyed and not endured.
Don’t force yourselves on girls, women, in fact females.
And before I forget, unsubscribe to that school of thought which taught you guys that ‘if a woman says no, she actually mean yes’. How is this even possible?
The last time i checked, the meaning of a ‘NO’ had not changed. NO means NO!
So, on the occasion of International Men’s Day, do not let your strength lead you into thinking you can get whatever you wish for, especially, when it comes to a woman’s body.
Challenge outmoded manhood practices, unlearn old practices and re-examine your manliness.