Why we’re all so angry, according to a therapist
If you’ve been feeling angry lately, you aren’t alone. Many people deal with these outbursts of anger and aren’t sure where they come from. And whether it’s triggered by a specific situation or not, we all want to understand how anger develops and what its root causes are.
Luckily, therapist Sam Dalton is here to explore the real reasons behind your anger — and it might not be what you think.
Why We’re All So Angry
The smaller reason we’re angry is because our anger demands accountability. According to Dalton, “Anger serves to hold us accountable for our actions or someone else’s actions.” As you can imagine, accountability is uncomfortable; it can make us defensive and leave us feeling vulnerable, so we often respond negatively.
But anger is more than defensiveness and taking responsibility. The deepest reason we are angry is because we are protecting ourselves.
According to Conflict Resolution Education Connection, “Anger is often called a secondary emotion because we tend to resort to anger in order to protect ourselves from or cover up other vulnerable feelings.” This is why anger is known as an iceberg with many underlying emotions. For those who’ve been traumatized, this is likely why you’re angry all the time.